Laughing at the Moon

Laughing

nights are the hardest
lunar wraiths
don’t find friends

well…

they are more like a gang
which hardly qualifies
don’t you think?

in the dark
they aren’t lonely
but they’ll make sure
you are
holding the knife-
fights in your head
with friends
of the friendless
shadows

so?

don’t look too close
don’t pretend that they care
don’t feed them after midnight
or let them get wet…
and
don’t
ever
expect
them
to call

perhaps
sorry is all
that would bring

In the Sand

written for a moment in sand

the entire reason that He came
the whole gospel
in one brief moment
lost in the sand

Who He IS

the greatest Commandment
to fight the law
a single grain of sand
to outweigh hard, cold judgement
of rocks

this greatest Force in the universe
sifted through simple sand

in the only place left to look
where He had entrusted it
to this earth He created

the world that destroyed
His
Greatest
Gift

replaced
this antithesis of Love
this hatred
judgement

what was so lost?
what was He looking for?
the remnants of castrated Love?
the invisible answer to the why?
the reason for the hatred?

the shifting of the sand
in Permanent Embrace

Words
only Words

lost

unfound in the sand

it’s always more
than simply words

behind words
comes truth
comes permanent
Love
transient as the sand
that holds
that one single
Truth

intangible
ungraspable
Truth
that slides through our fingers
Sand

above all
Love

it’s only words?

sticks and stones
will break my bones

but Words…

Words
can change forever
plain and simple

one
single
grain of sand
a four-letter Word
from the Hand of Eternity

Written Forever in the sand

Erosion

The sun’s harsh reality
bleeds all the color
as time undermines the detail

and ruthlessly scraping,
the elements steal
all uniqueness defining this art

What once was a masterpiece,
priceless and admired,
now fades
to the background
of years

Reverse

today this is
exactly what it is

the end of the beginning
a death before birth
as if the sun has set
long before dawn

sometimes it seems
the things we need
have been swallowed
before they’ve been chewed

so I guess now it’s gone
though it’s never been here
but this thing can’t be lost
unless first it belonged

Sanity

it’s
the little things really
that keep me
sane

or

at least
somewhat less
crazy
than you
perhaps

like morning coffee
candle fire
scented bubbles
in steam

but they often remind me
of other things too
like getting too close to the heat
and
the inevitable burns
from staying
too long

so

here’s one little thing
that won’t leave a scar
though it brands me
as volatile flame

but some days
it’s all
that quenches the rage -

this chemical shrink
in this bottle

for life

About the trees

Tree Hugging Lessons start early in our house

One of my favorite Dr. Seuss books has always been The Lorax, and it has inspired all sorts of artistry in me over the years, tree-hugging, pseudo-hippie-freak, liberal environmentalist and conservationist, and reincarnated dryad that I am.

It’s always been incredibly important to me to instill the same love of nature in my children. The photo to the right was my son’s first (documented) lesson. We thought it would be amusing to literally hug trees, and for a six month old, it worked. Mommy and Daddy are very silly if his giggles are to be believed.

So when I heard that The Lorax was being made into a movie, I was absolutely giddy. When the paper came home from my son’s school announcing that the school was sponsoring a Family Movie Night at our local theater to see the movie for only $5.00 a person (including adults and siblings), I was all over that. The movie reminded me yet again, both why I love Dr. Seuss (Happy belated birthday, BTW, Theo!) and why I love this book in particular.

My son is eight now and definitely “gets it” but we still have work to do with my four-year-old daughter apparently.

The Song of the Dryad
Originally posted on June 17, 2009

"A Tree Falls" (March 8, 2012)

I speak for the trees
for the dead falling leaves
for spring buds revealed
for hardened knots concealed

I speak for the woods
for somebody should
for the things that we waste
for things uneasily replaced

I speak for their souls
for their lack of control
for their sad siren songs
for the trees have no tongues

~~~~~~~
“I speak for the trees,
for the trees have no tongues.”

~ The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

 

To Forgive… Devine

Grace: To Forgive... Devine

Grace.

It’s a vague concept. It’s possibly one of the most difficult concepts to grasp for a lot of people. It’s one I’ve learned a lot about – particularly in the past two or three years.

Forgiveness.

It’s allowing yourself to let go of the hurt, the fear, and the anger. It’s allowing yourself the freedom to live again, to not be ruled and oppressed by past transgressions – whether those of others toward you, or your own toward others.

Acceptance.

It’s refusal to fight when you can no longer agree. It’s the need to remember the common ground, the reasons you cared in the first place, or the reason there was even the power for someone to hurt you. There is no pain from someone who doesn’t matter. It’s a decision to take that power back and to find the boundaries that protect that, and allow you to find some sort of life again.

Reconciliation.

It’s about allowing yourself to love again, to live in the good and in the now. To find the joy in what remains in the rubble and start over from there to rebuild. It’s knowing where the limits are to allow you to keep what matters and to protect you from falling back into those destructive patterns. It’s not about reissuing the all-access pass, but it’s saying, “you matter enough to me to work through this pain and reestablish a relationship that keeps you in my life, even at a guarded level that will keep us from further hurting one another.”

Love.

It’s about giving and receiving more than what is deserved, and knowing it’s all that makes life worthwhile.

Grace.

Scraps

Tiny pieces left behind
A cup
A shirt
A sweater

Like art
Or poetry
A scrap of the soul

Immortal
Once I’m gone

Balance

It’s a new year. Everyone is doing these turning of time posts. A year in review. Resolutions. Goals. Hopes. Dreams. Prayers…

All I can think is… I don’t wanna fail. So I’m not doing any of that. I’m not setting myself up with goals or resolutions that I’m not going to come close to achieving.

What I am doing is looking at me. My tendencies. My strengths. My weaknesses. My patterns. My extremes.

I’m all or nothing. That’s me… take it or leave it. And it’s been known to destroy good things in my life to various extents.

So… in 2012, I’m going to focus on balance. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual… Meditation, yoga, writing, and relationships… just to name a few areas. No goal. No pressure… just focus.

One word: balance.

Black & White, Shades of Gray, or Technicolor

I’ve been taking a DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) class. I started in October and will not be done until mid-December. 10 weeks talking about how to do the stuff that allegedly comes naturally to “normal” people:

• how to smile like the Mona Lisa and why you should
• how to breathe and relax to take care of yourself
• how to balance thought and emotion
• how to determine your needs, wants, values, etc. through a mental/emotional inventory and pro/con lists
• how to deal with stress, crisis, and pain through “radical acceptance”
• how to communicate effectively by listening, clarifying, and thinking through what you want to say before you say it.
• how to maintain relationships, and not allow the “little things” to destroy you
• how to be confident, assertive, and true to yourself (without being a bitch)

It’s twenty hours of my life I’ll never get back. It’s twenty hours of my life that keeps me out of the hospital. It’s twenty hours of my life that have kept me focused on growing emotionally and mentally. It’s twenty hours of my life that make me look at that list above and become really frustrated.

I’m frustrated that I’m not “normal” already. I’m frustrated that people can’t see the growth in me already. I’m frustrated that I live in a black and white world that creates the separation in my mind, when I want to live in a world full of color and depth.

Dialectics are all about the opposites in life (good/bad, thought/emotion, talking/listening, needs/wants, truth/lies, fantasy/reality, etc.). This therapy is about learning to see the shades of gray (and the colors, hues, and tints as well), to find the common ground and the balance of the two. Admittedly, balance is not my strong suit, but I’m learning; I am not the same person I was a year ago (or even a month ago). It’s a long hard road for me, but I see my destination and it’s beautiful.

Personally, I think the world would be a better place if *everyone* would learn these skills.