It’s a vague concept. It’s possibly one of the most difficult concepts to grasp for a lot of people. It’s one I’ve learned a lot about – particularly in the past two or three years.
It’s allowing yourself to let go of the hurt, the fear, and the anger. It’s allowing yourself the freedom to live again, to not be ruled and oppressed by past transgressions – whether those of others toward you, or your own toward others.
It’s refusal to fight when you can no longer agree. It’s the need to remember the common ground, the reasons you cared in the first place, or the reason there was even the power for someone to hurt you. There is no pain from someone who doesn’t matter. It’s a decision to take that power back and to find the boundaries that protect that, and allow you to find some sort of life again.
It’s about allowing yourself to love again, to live in the good and in the now. To find the joy in what remains in the rubble and start over from there to rebuild. It’s knowing where the limits are to allow you to keep what matters and to protect you from falling back into those destructive patterns. It’s not about reissuing the all-access pass, but it’s saying, “you matter enough to me to work through this pain and reestablish a relationship that keeps you in my life, even at a guarded level that will keep us from further hurting one another.”
It’s about giving and receiving more than what is deserved, and knowing it’s all that makes life worthwhile.